Yes. You are not reading things. The useless runner who is truly terrible at moving faster than a stroll managed to drag herself no less than 14 MILES! Without walking! Well, mostly without walking anyway- 4 minutes out of a total of 2 hours and 35 minutes doesn't count.
Admittedly, this 14 miles was planned to perfection to avoid any form of incline at all but still. Hills are evil and exist purely to depress runners with their thigh-burning terror and should not feature in my life.
I've talked before about mental strength and knowing that I lack even mental mediocrity (on a diet but cake in the room = cake in the room for not very long) I had to find a different strategy.
Distraction.
And so I downloaded an audio book to listen to. I chose Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman". Oh my word. It's a teeny weeny bit rude. In fact, it's really rude. Lots of naughty swear words (Mum- I didn't understand them, honest) and a considerable amount of time devoted to the dilemmas of alternative names for, well, ahem, erm, lady's, errrr, front bottoms. Paaah-haaa-haaa!
So picture this: me, clad in unflattering lycra with large bottom fully outlined in tight black running leggings- quite awful, red-faced and moderately sweaty, trotting along beside the canal, hopping over fisherman's rods (not a euphemism- it's not that type of canal.....I hope) giggling out-loud to my iphone about foofoos, po's and, my personal favourite, Aunty Susans!!! (I know you were wondering.....)
I did get a few funny looks but I didn't care- I was running and approaching 10 miles without feeling like I was dying.
When I got to 13.5 miles I was so delighted with myself that I felt like stopping every passer-by to tell them. Romantic couples enjoying a picturesque stroll, dog-walkers, their dogs, teenagers off for a crafty illicit fag, fishermen, other runners: no one was safe from nearly being accosted by me proclaiming "I've blooming-well run nearly 14 miles! I am brilliant!!!". I couldn't contain myself when a considerate fisherman moved his rather large rod off the path (why does that sound a bit rude? Think the book has given me immature silliness) and said "Thanks, Can't hurdle it, I've run 14 miles you know". He didn't look impressed. He just laughed. Perhaps he didn't believe me. Maybe I should have sat him down and shown him my Nike+ app for proof. I might just do that if I see him again.
So a pretty good run. Oh, except I was a plonker and at 2 miles realised I'd left my bottle of lucozade sport on the front seat of the car. I knew I'd never manage 14 miles without both fluid and calories (can't be bothered to explain the science behind glycogen stores so you'll just have to believe me that you need calories for anything over 90 mins) so had to turn around and run back to the car and retrieve the drink. Running past the same fishermen three times within 40 minutes got me some funny looks as well.
Another of my runs this week was with the very lovely Kim White. She took up running fairly recently and does it for fun. Not for marathon madness but for fun. Clearly I've judged her wrongly as I previously thought her to be pretty sensible but nonetheless, she remains my friend. When Kim was in Australia, she suggested we went for some runs together when she got back to the UK. I took her up on the offer as long as it combined with one of our previous favourite past-times. So on Wednesday, Kim and I ran 6 miles together and then went for coffee and cake. That's my kind of training. Here's the highlights:
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| Still smiling after 6 miles |
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| Post-run stretching. Sort of. |
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| Post run cake. I'd like to say that we were sharing this brownie! |
This coming week is going to be tricky. I've got to fit training in around night shifts, a training day on emergency surgery, hubby having an operation and a cake sale. Crikey. Oh, and there's the small matter of running my first ever "race" next Sunday. Yes, I am an official entrant to the Retford Half Marathon. I am terrified that I will crash and burn on the first hill, lose all motivation and confidence, walk the rest of the route whilst sobbing and finish last.
And they apparently don't let competitors wear earphones. I was relying on more talk of "lalas" to see me through. Alas, no. But I will have a couple of mates running it with me so maybe we'll drag each other round whilst discussing "botbots". Here's hoping.
Wish me luck! Oh, and feel free to sponsor me: http://virginmoneygiving.com/longrunlizzy
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